Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Le Carb, Mon Amie

Is there anything better than waking up to Eve poking you in the eye saying, "Time to wake up! It's Daniel's birthday!"

(I can see why the kids are confused, but he's going to be real disappointed when May 9th rolls around.)

But I think there may be one thing that's right up there, and it's the potatoes with nacho cheese for breakfast at the Gingerbread House. 'Nuff said.

Off to the Castle of Miracles, where we found the Star Fairy had hung Eve's star on the ceiling.

You can see it, right?

The kids spent some time making a few wishes at the magical [burping] wishing well. I don't know what small kids wish for, but I am guessing Daniel is wishing his birthday party will be held at Give Kids the World.

And who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Hey Huey Lewis, is it hip to be squarepants?

We boarded the shuttle to Epcot and upon arrival, must have looked tired and pathetic enough to secure a second free stroller. Score. The kids don't stand a chance now. Let the super stroller stunt spectacular begin!

First things first, tackle the big Epcot ball. The attendant we found at Spaceship Earth got us on the ride fast. Like, spaceship fast. So fast I started having hot flashes, but again, might have been the result of a catfight over who gets to push the buttons in the car. I hadn't been to Epcot since I was a kid, and there are now a couple of computer scenes added to the attraction. It was interesting to note that the room which housed the first supercomputer was run by Foxy Brown in a lab coat with go-go boots. That's a whole lot of woman in charge of a whole lot of computer.

After the ride, we went into the Mouse Gear store and let the kids pick out souvenirs. After trying on just under two million hats, Eve decided she is not a hat person and settled on a Minnie dress. I can relate; I look downright ridiculous in hats, but a red polka dotted dress I can rock till midnight. Nat and Dan picked out oversized mouse gloves. I have no idea what they are going to do with them but spar. They also tried on every hat in the store before deciding on, deciding against, and then deciding on again the hats they would take home. I spotted the original Mickey hat that I had when I was a kid and began to wonder why they started adding sequins and feathers to a good thing.

I got to ride with Daniel on The Seas with Nemo and Friends. He kept me calm when I was getting nervous. "JELLYFISH! Don't worry, those aren't real. They can't sting us. The stingers are just made of PAPER! They can't fool me. I'm smarter than a jellyfish."

Interesting to note that jellyfish have no brains.

Turtle Talk with Crush was very cool. This turtle says awesome and dude even more than I do. The kids sat in the front row and Crush called out Natalie, the "dudette with the pink shell."

Later in the show, a whale came up to the human tank and smooshed Dory against it. This made Eve extremely upset, to the point that she popped up screaming and ran in search of me and Matt. "It's ok, little dudette, the whale's gone!"

Next up was Soarin'. "Awesomer than awesome," according to Natalie. That's a lot of awesome.

Eve was just an inch too short to ride, so Matt, Nat, and Dan started out first while Eve and I waited. It felt like they were gone forever, but it could have felt that way because it was eatin' time and Matt had the bag of snacks with him. I'm convinced they were gone so long because the kids were off learning a script so they could narrate the entire ride for me while we were flying. "I thought we were outside the last time but I think we are really inside." "Don't be scared; it's not real, it's just a ride, Mom." "This is the cool part!" "This is the other cool part!" "This is the really cool part!" In one part of the ride, you fly over a crowded freeway. "Now we're flying over Disney World!" Umm, I'm pretty sure that's an overpass, kids. "Ok, NOW we're REALLY flying over Disney World!"

Soarin' is the ride to get on if you ever dreamed of hang gliding to Cinderella's castle by way of northern California wine country.

We walked around World Showcase in search of food before deciding on France. I think Eve thought there would be french fries. Matt disappeared into the patisserie as the kids and I waited outside in front a door that lead to nowhere. Whenever someone got close to us, they'd whip out their cell phones and place a call to the paparazzi to let them know the Griffiths were dining in France. Either that, or I had picked a Kim Possible secret clue door to stand in front of. Out of all the doors that lead to nowhere to stand in front of...

At last! Le carbed-up lunch.

Yeah. She totally wanted french fries.

After refueling the tanks, we went to Norway to get on Maelstrom. This ride smelled of amusement park. I think you probably know the smell I'm talking about. Think Log Flume, circa 1978. Or how Smurf Mountain might smell today. As we sailed past vikings, fjords, trolls, and oil rigs, Daniel said, "My blanket says this ride is his favorite." No word on what Dan's favorite is, though. We may never know.

Once we got to Mexico, we headed for the Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros. We dig walking through the building to get to the ride. It's like the Mexico that would exist if Chi Chi's was the presidente. Nat loved the flying sarape that the caballeros were riding on, but confused it for a flying carpet. Easy mistake to make, I guess. Aladdins fly carpets, ill-tempered birds fly sarapes, mommies fly brooms.

We saw a sign for nachos, tacos, kids meals, and margaritas at the end of the ride. At this point, I was wishing we had eaten in Mexico. What more do you need in life than nachos, tacos, kids meals, and margaritas? The last two items should be a combo meal because believe me, after three straight days of amusement parks with kids, I don't see how it's fair to get one without the other.

On the way out of World Showcase, we saw Duffy the Disney bear. I have no clue who this guy is. Maybe a teddy that Mickey travels with around World Showcase? His eyes and the line to meet him were way too small for me to accept him as a real Disney character.

As we were heading to the shuttle, I convinced Matt we had enough time to stop and see Captain EO. I remember watching this as a kid and now it's been brought back in all it's glory. Eve watched it without her 3D glasses but still gave it two thumbs up. The film is so ancient that there probably wasn't much difference between watching it with or without the glasses. Natalie loved it. Daniel Michael Jackson-danced out of the theater. Matt left wondering how that singing voice came out of the same man with that speaking voice.

We caught our shuttle, which was driven by a man who told us architectural trivia of the greater Orlando strip mall area on our way back to the village. It sounded suspiciously like a Dan Brown novel. He also has a friend, who is not unlike Nostradamus, who predicts the US will be a third-world country by 2013. If I'm still blogging in 2013, we'll have to track down that shuttle driver and find his friend, if they haven't already joined the freemasons.

Back just in time to eat dinner at the Gingerbread House, Eve had enough energy to be a complete poophead and we had to leave. Why do all the volunteers just look at her and smile and laugh? Why aren't they handing us restraining devices and wet noodles? I guess we're not staying at Give Kids the Discipline.

I let Matt stay at the villa with Eve while Nat, Dan, and I went to the magic show at Julie's Safari Theater.

This magician had corn growing out of his ears. I was loving it.
Knock knock/Who's there?/A cow goes./A cow goes who?/No, a cow goes moo!

What does a snail on top of a turtle say? WHEE!

Pick a number, any number, between one and three.

How old are you?/11/I was 11 when I was your age!

Stand as far away from me as I am from you.

The three rings of marriage are as follows: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

I guess Dan didn't appreciate the show as much as I did, because he was melting down faster than the Dippin' Dots he was eating. I took him back to Matt and enjoyed the rest of the show with Natalie. There are people just walking around at this place waiting to bring you cotton candy and popcorn and Icees. I had to get back quick.

After the show, Nat and I went to the La-Ti-Dah Spa inside the Castle of Miracles. She got her nails and makeup done.

At the end, she was given a My Little Pony lunchbox. I'm guessing that is so she can bring snacks with her next time, because I know I'm always super hungry after a day at the spa. All that sitting and thinking about food. Is the ice cream palace still open?

When we got back to the villa, Matt asked Nat if she got her makeup done. When she said yes, Matt offers the finest of compliments: Well, it looks a lot better than how you usually do it!

(We're not staying at Give Kids the Kudos, either.)


  1. "Foxy Brown in a lab coat with go-go boots" - greatest, most perfect description of that scene. Loving the trip reports!

  2. I feel my life is incomplete with out 3 visits to ice cream a day! And I completely agree on the kids meal with margarita deal! I might have a kid or four if the world started offering that!

  3. You have officially convinced me that when I have kids, it needs to be back to back to back... I'm calling to complain if it's not as fun as this! (Or if I don't magically grow a massively sarcastic and tolerant sense of humor). Loving your posts :) You should go on vacation more often!