Wednesday, January 19, 2011

High fives and other celebratory hand gestures.

The children were all throughly terrified for one heartfelt second at the end of Dino Putt. Understandable, I guess. I mean, Natalie puts a golf ball in the hole, the dinosaur pops up and roars as Daniel and Eve watch. Natalie jumps, startled. Daniel then puts a golf ball in the hole, the dinosaur pops up and roars as Eve watches. Daniel jumps, startled. Eve then puts a golf ball in the hole, the dinosaur pops up and roars. Eve jumps, startled.

They never saw it coming.

On the way back to the villa, we stopped at Katie's Kitchen to order some lunch. More Boston Market. More yum yum on a bun. Have that delivered, please, because I have to carry Daniel because he says his legs don't work anymore.

And since I'm doing some weight lifting, better stop at the Ice Cream Palace for a milkshake for the walk home. I'm walking AND lifting weights. Dude. Is 2011 the year I start exercising?

[Break for violent laughter.]

We popped in some DVDs that the gift fairy left us the night before and let the kids chill out picnic style on the living room floor. Mostly because the kitchen table only comes with four chairs, and I'm so tired of Eve sitting on my lap and either peeing on me or stealing my food. I'm territorial like that.

I go to check on the smaller pool which is the unheated one. It's a little bit colder than ice water, even though another parent there tries to convince me it's heated. Umm, yeah, if magma is flowing through your veins. Not me, Magma Man, not me.

We head back out to the playground. Still closed. I call the front desk and they check on it, saying it's closed because the power washing equipment has not been moved yet and should be open in 30-60 minutes. All this walking back and forth and I'm gonna need another milkshake.

We pass the snoring tree again. Yep, still snoring.

We go into the Castle of Miracles to make magic pillowcases.

The owl in the magic tree talks and gives Eve directions. However, Eve cannot hear the directions because the two volunteers keep telling her what to do, as if Eve cannot understand complicated instructions such as, "Blow me a kiss."

My favorite line was, If you don't like it, there's one more! Because I guess the magic pillow tree always spits out an extra one in case the others weren't magical enough. Natalie later looked behind a curtain and said, "That tree wasn't magic. They're hiding all the pillows here. The Star Fairy must have put them here!"

I check back in at the House of Hearts (front office) to see what the situation at the playground is. Seems that someone must have left the equipment out there and forgotten about it. Well...maybe instead of a nice relaxing day in the village, we should just take a cab to an amusement park. The sun hasn't set yet! Four days in a row of amusement parks sounds like a lot of fun. How about Sea World?

After the cab is running late and our window of time is closing, Matt suggests I run back and get the Universal tickets since they are open an hour later than Sea World. Also, the magic button at Sea World gets you a tray of fish. The magic button at Universal's Islands of Adventure gets us front of the line at Harry Potter. I hightailed it back and didn't even pause for an ice cream break. This is my year, baby.

We get out there at 4:45 and book it through City Walk into the park. The girl at the front gate wanted us to write down our names and fingerprint our tickets. What, do you want us to turn to the side so you can take our picture, too? Seems like a lot of work to me. Why do we need to do this again? So you can go into the other park, too! Umm, this one closes in two hours. Besides, there's no butterbeer in the other park.

Again, we look tired and pathetic enough to get two strollers for free. Matt can't keep up with the Mommy Stroller Stunt Show. I'm so pitching this to Universal. It's going to be a sleeper hit.

We do a highlight tour of our first visit, determined to make the most of our two hours here. First up, The Cat in the Hat. Eve was scared of going into Sally's messy house, but ended up enjoying it as much as she did the first time. I don't understand why Eve's not scared of her own room at home. It looks like Thing 1 and Thing 2 got together and had lots of baby Things.

Next up is the High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride. We rode both tracks, the second of which went through the Circus McGirkus restaurant. Eve remembers, "That's where I didn't eat my hamburger and french fries!"

Ok, we're making the most of this. Time to haul sass down to Harry Potter. Daniel complains his stomach hurts, but we assume he's just eaten too much crap today.

We head straight to the Flight of the Hippogriff. Daniel is so pumped about this ride. Up the exit we go to the ride. Up up up upchuck. Seems like his stomach needed to be pumped, too. He throws up and throws up and throws up and finally cries. Not because of the massive vomit puddle he has created for everyone to walk through as they exit the ride, but because he's messed up his favorite shirt.

Luckily I packed extra clothes. I am always anticipating pee or puke.

Dan feels much better after said episode and still wants to ride the rollercoaster. Matt takes him and Nat while I wait with Eve near the spill. We watch as one of the attendants stands by the puddle and ushers people around it. He has his hand raised to get everyone to walk around it, but people kept thinking he was giving them high fives for riding such an awesome coaster.

I ride it next with the kids while Matt holds Eve. People are still grossed out by the puke once they realize the attendant is not really handing out free high fives. Dan is all smiles and gives everyone two thumbs up, carefully stepping over the blarf.

We hem and haw before finally going back to Hogwarts to ride Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, much like you do when someone offers you cake that you know damn well you're going to eat. Dan keeps standing on his toes asking if he is tall enough to ride it now. Listen kid, it's one thing to put you in the front car of a rollercoaster when you just puked, but it's quite another to ride this thing even when you're not nauseous. Because you will be afterward.

Also, there is a defibrillator in the child swap room.

We get off the ride, trying to walk in a straight line to the butterbeer. I get a frozen one, which tastes like a butterscotch Slurpee with butter foam on top. And I pay way too much for it just so I can get the souvenir mug that will hold Miller Lite in the near future.

That was a good two hours.

Back to the shuttle. It starts to sprinkle and Dan is upset that his [new] favorite shirt is getting wet. He falls asleep on Matt. Eve is behaving much like a cat would if you were trying to bathe it in the toilet. I cannot keep my 35 pound child seated and buckled. Epic fail.

Dan wakes up when the shuttle stops to drop someone off, and he loses it again. And again, he's upset that his new favorite shirt is dirty. I have a gender neutral shirt I packed as a back-up for Nat that I give him, but he refuses to wear it. As we approach our villa, he willingly pukes into it, and partly onto Matt.

We bathe the kids, order pizza, and get some milkshakes for dinner. Well, four of us eat that. We let Dan have crackers and Sprite, which might sound boring to you, but trust me...he would dine on that three meals a day. I almost feel guilty about the milkshake in front of him, but not enough to want to clean it up later.

Mayor Clayton shows up to tuck the kids in bed. We've been warned that something about a 6' tall bunny tucking your kids in doesn't calm them down enough to go to sleep for a long time. I'm just hoping Dan stays calm enough to keep his crackers down.

So Eve marked me at Magic Kingdom on Sunday. Matt got marked by Eve on Monday. Yesterday we both remained dry and maybe that led us to get a little bit cocky. We forgot that we have two other children who may share [bodily fluids] in different ways. Here's hoping that Daniel wakes up with a calmer stomach in the morning than he went to bed with tonight; I'm running out of favorite shirts.

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