I'll have 2 tacos and an oncology consult.

What do you think I did to give my daughter cancer?

76% of you said I ate too much Taco Bell when I was pregnant.

7% of you said I allowed my pediatrician to give her vaccinations.

17% of you said I went through a scanner at the airport.

76% of you need to visit Taco Bell's website and stop spreading vicious rumors about their taco meat! I won't have that kind of slander around here. Maybe if I had added to the poll I fed her formula as a baby, there wouldn't be so much Taco Bell hatin'.

7% of you think that vaccinating Eve may have lead to her getting cancer. But you know what I think you get from vaccinations? Not polio.

17% of you were probably standing behind me as I held up the line at security by setting off the metal detector with my girdle. Sorry guys, it was necessary after all that carcinogenic taco meat.