The Eve Show

What a difference two years off-treatment makes.  (I mean, besides not having cancer.)  I'm talking about hair long enough to put up in a ballerina bun.  And when you compare that to cancer, it sounds pretty shallow.  But dude, have you ever tried to put the last three strands of hair that your daughter didn't lose into a bun?  Trust me, buns are serious business.  My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

The only thing less useful than a comprehensive overview of the Franco-American War.

With quiet threats muttered under Daniel's breath the days leading up to his birthday celebration (Don't ruin my day), I did my best to come up with something that would pass as a Pac-Man party.  And believe it or not, there's not a lot of Pac-Man themed items in the party aisles.  It's almost like we were throwing this particular party thirty years too late or something.

He begged for a pinata.  The closest I could find looked like a nine-year-old girl's fantasy: Smiley face!  Rainbow!  Hibiscus!  OMG, all in one!  Fortunately for me, we were dealing with a character who is pixelated enough to be rendered fairly accurately with cut-up napkins.

Yolks: bane or boon for mankind?

Scene:

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING, FOUR DAYS BEFORE BIRTHDAY

Daniel paces around Christy as she tirelessly scrubs the dishes in the sink.  He waves a brightly colored piece of paper in her face, determined to give a paper cut in the eye.

Nacho Cheese

The kids got into the second school we wanted so...yay.  We didn't get to keep our current schedule so they'll be on a different track so...I'm okay with that.  Seriously, I don't even care when they go to school, as long as I'm not driving across town and I'm not expected to keep them home for three months all at once; I don't know that I could remember how to do that.  I would probably be really smelly because I can never figure out when to shower when my kids are home.  It's not fun when little people keep opening up the shower door and letting out all the heat and then poke you in your fluffy parts and ask how you got those stretch marks there.

The Wake County Hunger Games

I'm fairly sure he did it just because I sounded the five-minute bell.  It's usually when I tell him we have to leave in five minutes that he does something ridiculous that would take five hours to undo.

Let's get physical!

Though we were in town for the Centennial Cherry Blossom Festival, we didn't venture downtown until it was time for fireworks.  I will never pass up the opportunity to see fireworks, unless they are being set off by rednecks in their driveways.  Rednecks and explosives make me nervous.  Rednecks will light their farts on fire if you hold their beer.

Alive with pleasure

The days before April Fool's were normal in all accounts in that I packed up some supplies to make a bit of tricky-up'd food before we headed to Matt's mom's house for the weekend.  The only thing I forgot was the lemon Jello, so I could make "lemonade" for the kids.

Upon arrival to Small Town, NC, I popped into a convenience store and picked up three boxes of gelatin.  Once at the front, the girl behind the register rings up my purchase and says, "Mmm...Jello shots," at two in the afternoon.