Monday, July 22, 2013

You should be dancing

...because you'd be burning more calories than you are right now on your internet device.

Unless you are pinning low-fat recipes and 30-day squat challenges.  Go on with your bad self.

The girls had their dance recitals a little while back.  They burned way more calories than I did in the audience.  In my defense, I was incapacitated with a migraine during Eve's show.  I did little more than hold an ice pack to my head as lots of little girls tap danced really loud to some really loud music and then everyone clapped really loud and did I mention it was really loud?  I popped Imitrex after Imitrex to no avail.  Probably because it had expired two years before.

I put important medicine in random boxes and then hide them around the house, only to find them years later.

bomb shelter medicine box

Now THAT's where my birth control went.

now THAT'S where my birth control went.

It's okay.  I'm glad I lost track of it.  I like going to dance recitals.

Eve was in a ballet dance to a song called Cinderella which is a country-ish ballad designed to make you cry.  But I didn't because my hormones were all in-check since I haven't been taking my pills since 2004.

A to the double W, y'all.


Kind of makes you not mind never remembering to buy reasonably priced flowers before you get to the recital, only to remember that you didn't buy reasonably priced flowers when you get to the recital as you are standing next to a flower broker that probably earns more on recital weekend than I did the whole of 2004.  Which was the last year I worked.  On account of me losing track of my birth control.


Natalie was in the bigger recital(s) which meant that we got to watch six hours worth of dancing which was not only really fun to watch but also really made your butt start to ache.  That's why I brought candy.  It will make your butt feel better.  It's true.  I read a whole study on it in Lancet.

Nat happened to be dancing to a Cinderella-song as well- A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.  Her dance was not designed to make you cry.  But it would have been okay if it were designed that way because I had candy.  You can't cry with a mouth full of Haribo.  And thanks to Wikipedia, I now know that Haribo is a German confectionery, not the Japanese confectionery that I had always imagined it to be.  Now you know, too.  You're welcome.

I apparently didn't make a video of this dance but it was pretty.  I must have been too preoccupied by the Haribo and was just watching the entire dance through the viewfinder while the camera was on standby.  Also, I found myself distracted by people holding up iPads to record things.  If you carried around a camera that large, people would just say you look really silly.  If you carry around an iPad to film events, people are going to blog about how you look really silly.  Please stop looking so silly in front of me while I am eating my gummy bears.  I can't see my kid around your silliness.


Natalie loved dressing up like an orphan.  Just like we found her when I lost track of those pills.



It seriously can be a hard knock life.  Especially when I run out of gummies and there is a row of giant glowing tablets hovering in the air in front of my face.  It makes my pupils get all wonky and I want more sugar and OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU FILMING THE ENTIRE SHOW WITH THAT IPAD??  They made video cameras in the 80s that housed VHS tapes that were less obnoxious than that.

But I digress.  This is not about a post about birth control or German gummies or people who think it's perfectly acceptable to hold a glowing 9.5 x 7.3" rectangle up in the air with elbows straightened.  It's about the orphans.  You know, the ones that you forgot to go to the store and buy reasonably priced flowers for before the show.


I love my orphan.  I'm so glad I like to hoard pills and hide them from myself.


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