And apparently my dad thinks Flarp is hilarious. He flarped so much on the phone that his brother hung up on him. On Christmas day. That's how much flarping was going on.
Eve went through plenty of costume changes. This was actually no different than any other day of the week.
Christmas 2011 marked Eve's first online shopping experience (not including the apps she downloaded on my old dumbphone which couldn't even support said apps but I was charged for anyway). She decided Daniel needed yellow glasses.
Daniel loves yellow. Daniel loves being able to see. It was a very thoughtful gift.
Runaway bride! Thank goodness I had already lost my toenails because it was like Talladega Superspeedway around here.
That evening, we had filets and crab cakes for dinner. I asked my mom to cut up the kids' food so they wouldn't see the need to wield a steak knife. Somehow, little pieces of perfectly cooked surf and turf found their way to floor in the first of many accidents.
And the kids weren't even involved.
After dinner, I decided to try out my new SodaStream because I am in love with seltzer water. In my excitement, I moved the machine to the table where everyone was sitting, put a bottle of water underneath the carbonator, and pushed the button. I say in my excitement because that can be the only reason I neglected to actually screw the bottle into the machine before water exploded across my family members. Natalie had to go change clothes.
By the time we cleaned that up, my mom went ahead and spilled her drink across the table. Natalie changed her pants again. Perhaps a sign that we should stop drinking?
Said sign goes unnoticed until I spill my drink across the table. Natalie's lap is drenched at this point and she decides to go with it, probably because she ran out of pants.
I managed to go a whole hour without spilling anything until it was time for bed and I decided I needed to put a bowl of whipped cream in the fridge. There was probably less than a cup of it in a mixing bowl that could hold large infant Siamese twins. Naturally, I decided to just throw plastic wrap on it and shove it into an already packed fridge instead of moving it to a much more reasonably sized container.
Like I said, I didn't see the sign that said stop drinking.
Then the container with the green beans, in all their beautiful, salty-brothed glory, came tumbling out and what do you know? Plastic storage containers can break!
But since there was now space in the fridge, I was able to shove the mixing bowl right in.
I went to bed without managing to spill any mouthwash, mostly because I didn't use any. But I do remember getting toothpaste on my pajamas.
Our Christmas gift to Daniel was a day at Marbles. He opted for Mellow Mushroom for lunch because they have good kids menus to color. He's kind of a kids menu snob.
He got to try out hockey. Dan is tenacious.
Marbles has a dirt pit outside called Diggin Dirt Island. It's like they thought about putting in a sandbox, but decided sand buckets and shovels work just as well in the dirt. Dan loves digging. Dan loves dirt. Dan loves Diggin' Dirt Island.
Dan wants to dig to the center of the earth. Dan is upset that he can't dig to the center of the earth.
We tell Dan there is a movie called Journey to the Center of the Earth. We watch it when we get home. He is visibly confused. He knows deep down that he can really dig to the center of the earth, if his parents weren't too lazy to help him.
Eve's present was a trip to the movies. And guess where we ate lunch beforehand?
What, did you think we were going to the salad bar?
We saw The Muppets. We sang Mahna Mahna. We ate tasty radioactive popcorn that glowed neon, even after the lights were down.
(I hope that stuff doesn't cause cancer.)
We went with Matt's mom to the Rembrandt exhibit at the art museum. I found it incredibly interesting that the entire exhibit may or may not have been painted by Rembrandt. It made me question how much we should really be paying to see it. I wanted to negotiate based on how many I felt were actually painted by the artist, since our headphones instructed us to decide if each painting was really a Rembrandt...or not.
But I didn't major in art history. That's not fair! It's like going to a concert with the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block and being asked which group is N'Sync but being charged to see Boyz II Men.
Yeah, it was just like that. I think. But with less music, more paint and greater questions of authenticity.
New Year's Eve was celebrated London-style. Meaning, we ate cupcakes and sparkling grape juice at 7 pm. Though we didn't talk in funny accents or see Big Ben strike midnight, I'm sure it was exactly like they throw down in Europe.
As for Matt and I, we went out to celebrate New Year's Eve, eastern-time zone edition, after the kids had worn off their sugar high. White people love fire pits almost as much as they love Cinco de Mayo, so we eschewed the modern convenience of indoor heating with our friends and rung in the new year with something better than cupcakes.
A full-sized cake. For six people. Because we so crazy. And dietary new years resolutions be damned!
I tried to make a resolution, but I've never been good at it. When I decide I want to do something, I just do it, no matter what day of the year. I'm good at that. When I try and do something because it's January 1st, I know it's just for show.
On New Year's Day, because my blood sugar was low, I made myself some peanut butter toast and a tall glass of milk. I never drink milk. Not because I don't like it, but because our kids go through a gallon every other day and I'm cheap. I choose to get my calcium from nacho cheese.
But in this instance, the milk was de-li-cious. And in my hypoglycemic state, I made a resolution.
"I'm going to try to drink a glass of milk everyday!"
Matt thought this resolution was sissy. It was really a resolution to try. I can't be faulted if I don't.
I didn't drink another glass of milk on the 2nd. It wasn't until the 3rd that I remembered I was supposed to be trying, and I did. Then I amended my resolution to try to drink a glass of milk every other day.
That was eight days ago. I'm going to resolve to try. Not necessarily to drink milk, but to try. Try something. Like leeks. Or cycling.