Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Big 0-4

So maybe Eve's birthday party was two weeks ago. So what? I've been busy! Like eating and carpooling and stuff.

Eve decided she wanted a costume party for her birthday which just happened to be the best theme for this time of year. Wal-Mart has huge sections of the store dedicated to Halloween and everything is $0.97 or less. I dig it.

She was totally excited to be hosting a party where there's candy and everyone gets a plastic gourd full of sugar. I had to stop her from diving into the sea of pumpkins, reminding her that you cannot crowd surf on plastic.

Natalie decided to start a registry. Every guest who entered had to spell their name out so she could enter them on her list. She might grow up to be an awesome wedding planner.

Princess Eve made her appearance. However, only "Eve" was written on the official list.

I was super-excited that my kids didn't want to dress up as anything that we didn't already own. Eve wanted to be a princess. Easy. We've got a white fluffy dress, I can make a sash and stick a crown on that. Natalie wanted to be a ballerina princess fairy. We've got ballet costumes, we've got tiaras, we've got wings. Dan wanted to wear his Spiderman costume, which Santa gave him last year for Christmas. Because Santa always shops the Halloween aisle on November 1st.

Matt set up the backyard with various things we store in garage. (My children all think our neighbors are weird because they put CARS in their garages. Where do they put all their extra stuff?? Where do they put the clutter that they need to hide before they throw a party??) Our bounce house has lasted several years and several birthday parties, and like our van, is covered in duct tape.

But it lived to see another day. We should buy stock in duct tape and Taco Bell. The day we stop consuming these products is the day these companies fold.

There were bags filled with gross stuff. Worms (spaghetti), guts (rotini), eyeballs (olives), ears (dried apples), fingers (baby pickles), and a dead hand (a glove filled with flour). Close your eyes, put your hand in, make yourself a tapas platter.

And we did stuff like play with the parachute so we could look like good parents who might have once been in a PBS spot, encouraging everyone to get outside and play with brightly colored objects while remembering to donate to public television even though you really shouldn't be watching so much TV.

At this point in the party, Eve was ready to open presents. No, Eve! We are going to tie donuts on strings, just like you wanted! Everyone gets to eat them without using their hands! It was your idea! You've been planning this since AUGUST!

She didn't play. She wanted nothing but presents. How dare you have a table full of presents inside and not let the birthday princess open them. Tears.

Oh wait, is it time to cry? Dan's all on it!

Poor guy. He really wanted that donut. But I love the raw emotion.

Nothing that a little love from the ladies can't fix, though. Here he is with his preschool sweetheart:
And when his kindergarten girlfriend saw this, the one who only seconds earlier didn't want to be photographed, she said, "What is SHE doing in my picture?"

Dan loves him some ladies.

While all this was going on, Eve was still pouting about the presents. So she decided to sabotage the party by sitting on the air supply to the bounce house with her arms crossed. With kids inside.

Don't you want birthday cake, Eve? NO! Don't you want to blow out the candles? I said NO! Who is going to blow them out? I DON'T CARE ABOUT BIRTHDAY CAKE! I WANT TO OPEN PRESENTS!!

Jeez. Ok. Well, we've never really had a birthday party in any logical order before. Last year, we started the party by eating cake first. Whatever you say, Princess.

And suddenly her mood changed dramatically. Downstairs Eve has left the building!

And Natalie was there to write down everything she got. This was the highlight of the day for me. I couldn't even see the birthday girl as she was surrounded by children and tissue paper, but Nat took control of the situation and made sure we had an accurate record of gifts received.

There was lots of spooky food, all of which was picked out by Eve. She literally has been planning her birthday party for two months. Twice a week, she'd ask to go to the Family Fun website to look through Halloween food. She and Nat might be able to go into business together.

There were eyeballs, witch fingers, bones, candy corn pizza, monster toes, pretzel mummies, and banana ghosts. I had to stop letting Eve look at the computer because she would keep adding things to the menu and I'm just one mom with one refrigerator.

But somehow I let her talk me into making two cakes. Maybe it's because she's the youngest. Maybe it's because she had cancer. Maybe it's because when she said I want two pumpkins, one boy and one girl, it just made sense at the time.

She was happy to blow out the candles now that the presents had been opened. She's happiest when things are on her terms. She just wants what she wants when she wants it.


And lucky for me there was plenty of candy to go around as a dessert appetizer while I tried to figure out how to serve everyone without making too big of a mess. I am famous for making messes, and not in a cute way. Like, dear God, here comes Christy in the kitchen about to dump out a bag of flour and break some china before she pours an entire bottle of salad dressing into the utensil drawer.

(Not that any of that has really happened or anything.)

My favorite part of the cake eating was when Dan tried to move one of the cakes out of his way which only served to have it topple over onto the table. When we got the cake back up, it was missing an eye and had a used lollipop stick jutting out of it's forehead. How cool is that?? I should have made that in the first place! Pumpkin goes to rehab-cake.

And you wouldn't have even known that 20% of the kids at the party were cancer survivors. They were just as nonplussed to pose for a picture as anyone else there. Pictured below are 5 kidneys, 3.5 livers, and 10+ scars.

And once we got the extra Dum-Dum in the little ladybug's mouth, she was all smiles. Dum-Dums cure cancer!


(And probably chemo, too.)

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