Wednesday, November 9, 2011

For whom the phone rings.

You know, every time the phone rings at 9:00 a.m., I have come to expect it will be Wake County Schools calling to let me know that Daniel has thrown up on the bus. And then I will come get him from school, where he will be completely fine and his clothes completely free of vomit (where does all that vomit go?). And then we will come home and the first thing he does is open his lunch box and dive right in.

Yes. That is a picture of him eating chicken wings less than an hour after he lost his breakfast. I'm going to have to get the bus driver a really nice Christmas present.

So, of course, Dan had to be home from school on the day that I was to take Eve for her four-year check-up. Which means he had to come with me, because who on earth do I call and say, "Daniel threw up and was sent home from school. Will you watch him for me while I go out with Eve?" I have nice friends but I don't have crazy friends.

Off we went to the pediatrician. I loathe taking more than one child to the doctor. Everyone wants to get weighed. Everyone wants to get measured. Everyone wants to get their blood pressure taken. Nobody wants to be quiet. Nobody wants to stop turning off the lights in the exam room. Nobody wants to stop crying because they didn't get a sticker AND a pencil.

As far as I could hear over the two-ring circus I had with me, Eve has grown four inches in the past year and is now almost in the 75th percentile for height and 50th for weight. The doctor says she must be making up for lost time. Not that time was necessarily lost as it was just plain old sucky.

Since I had Dan in there anyway, we went ahead and got his flu vaccine when they brought Eve's. This year is the first year in a long time that all three kids can have the flu-mist vaccine rather than the flu-shot. Since the flu-mist has live virus and the shot does not, everyone had to get the shot just in case Eve's poor little immune system couldn't handle live influenza. This year, we snort that crap up our noses!

Dan begged to go first. Eve begged not to go at all. The syringe that the nurse sticks up your nose kind of does look like a syringe of Heparin or something else that Eve is used to being poked with. We had to hold down her arms and legs to get it up her nose. She reluctantly admitted after turning red, screaming, and drowning her shirt in tears that it didn't hurt. But don't do that again.

The next morning, I brought Nat and Dan back to the pediatrician so Natalie could get her vaccine. Then it was right back to school. As long as your socks aren't showing through your shoes.

When I had to check them back into school, I just wrote down "Doctor Visit" for both kids instead of "Went shoe shopping."

Daniel had a field trip to Green Acres the next day. It was 40 degrees out, so I'm glad we made a point to get him shoes that actually covered his feet. It was the first time I've ever heard him say he was cold, and that with him wearing a long sleeved shirt, a fleece hoodie, and his winter coat. If Dan is cold, you know you have no chance of warming up. Dan is the child who once ran outside barefoot and shirtless in a snowstorm.

Even though it was cold, it wasn't too cold to pose for cut-out pictures. Those are the best. I think I'm doing to print them out as 8x10's and frame them for Christmas presents. Happy Holidays 2011 from Daniel and his friend from school!

There was a corn maze. There's always a corn maze. Daniel doesn't want to be in the corn maze. He keeps finding exits and wants to go have lunch. As soon as we're done with the corn maze, Dan, we can go eat. I'm done! I see an exit! I want to go eat!

Poor kid. We passed by no less than six exits before we decided to actually leave the maze. He was motivated by hunger. I was motivated by seeing Children of the Corn at an impressionable age.

I see another Christmas card. Keep on truckin' this holiday season! Love, the Griffith family.

Check out all this food the cafeteria packed for a 5-year-old's lunch:

That's like an 8" hoagie, an apple, a bag of carrots, a carton of milk, and a giant cookie. That's more than I eat for lunch, and you've seen some of my posts on food. But I'm not complaining- it's the healthiest school lunch I've ever seen.

Much better than what the goats get to eat. Mmm...pellets.

And pictured here are Daniel and his girlfriend, Reese. Reese is our next-door neighbor and is apparently betrothed to my son. Well, depending on the day. Daniel came home from her house very upset because she told him she was going to marry him but changed her mind and was going to marry Dan's best friend instead. So he took a fistful of candy back over to her house in an effort to win her hand again. Last I heard, the wedding was back on.

That evening, my toes still thoroughly chilled, the kids got dressed up to attend a Pirates and Princesses Carnival at the preschool. We came with two princesses and a Superman.

The face painting is always the most popular. Nat was hesitant because she didn't want the clown to disturb the eye makeup she had applied herself even though she was getting the most excellent plumage ever. Because Natalie knew the make-up she put on wouldn't be nearly as cool as HAVING FEATHERS COMING OUT OF YOUR TEMPLES!

Daniel found it hard to sit still because the paintbrush was tickling him. He gets that from me. In fact, I can barely put on blush in the morning without giving myself the giggles. And then I get that uneven rouge look like the old ladies with the cataracts who can't see well enough to know that one cheek is bright magenta and the other is just about firehouse red. But they can certainly still see well enough to find the perfume and douse themselves with it from head to toe. I'm probably going to grow up to be one of those women. I want people to see and smell me from a mile away, so they have time to get my nachos ready.

When the clown asked Eve what she wanted to be, the response was a simple tiger princess. Duh. That's easy.

If I could paint faces half as good as that clown, I would paint my kids' faces everyday. Every single day. Right now, the only face painting I'm good at is one color all over. Maybe my kids could be the Blue Man Group for Halloween.

The "make your own" cookie station was a big hit. Cookies! Icing! Millions of sprinkles! It's like mom's kitchen floor.

This would probably be the healthiest thing we ate all night.

Unless Tootsie Rolls are healthier.

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