Candy Karma

Exactly one year ago, Eve was home after her first chemo treatment and very constipated from the vincristine.

We didn't want to take her out trick-or-treating, for fear of the child catching swine flu or something else named after an animal. Instead, I came up with the most brilliant of ideas: keep Eve inside and let her eat an entire bag of sugar-free candy.

Sugar-free candy always does a number on my stomach. I figured it would be a fun way to get Eve to make some progress while keeping in the spirit of Halloween.

It didn't work, but it sure did make her vomit. Note to self: an entire bag of ANYTHING is not the bestest of ideas. Unless it is a bag of Doritos and you are feeling lonely.

This year, I'm happy to report that Eve was free to trick-or-treat sans hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, and face masks. You might have to be a cancer mom to realize how incredible it is to roam freely. You might even be tempted to let the kids eat candy off the floor just to build their immune systems back up.

On Thursday, Eve's class had their Halloween party. For Eve, Thursday felt like a Snow White kind of day. "I feel like Snow White today, Mommy. I want an apple and you're Grumpy." And how do you get eight 2- and 3-year-olds to sit relatively still for a picture?

Taunt them with the promise of cupcakes.

And if you don't like pumpkin spice cupcakes with cream cheese filling and buttercream icing, then I am totally deleting you as my friend on Facebook.

On Friday night, we went to the Pirates & Princesses Carnival at our preschool. It is usually a fundraiser for the preschool, but this year they were raising funds for Eve and her friend Franklin's medical bills. (Franklin is a classmate of Eve's. So, two of the eight children both have a cancer that affects around twenty kids in the U.S. each year. What are the odds?) Last year, the Carnival fell on our first out-patient chemo day and to say we were exhausted would be an understatement. This year, I was able to rest up all proper-like, and it made for a much more enjoyable experience. And by rest, I mean staying in my pajamas until I had to pick Natalie up from carpool.

My favorite two things about the Carnival are hot dogs and face paint. I like the fact that I don't have to cook dinner and whatever ketchup is left on the kids' faces is painted over. We love face paint.

I think it's a crime not to let children dress up in costumes and face paint unless they are working part-time at the bank.

Natalie and I made these scarecrows over track-out a few weeks ago. They only recently got heads.

I kind of liked the headless versions, but the kids started trying to remove the heads from their toys, and I didn't want to start stepping on Barbie body parts all day; that's what Legos (a.k.a. "curse word-generators") are for. Barb has a much harder nose than one would guess.

Buzz Lightyear, Tall Witch, and Short Witch are all ready to get me some candy.

(I mean, all ready to go trick-or-treating.)

Matt and I both took the kids out on Halloween night, so the only things to man the candy bowl were these guys:

My friend Mark and I make a night out of carving pumpkins every year. Well, except for last year. (Something came up.) But this year we got back into the groove of things. Everyone should be so lucky to be able to carve pumpkins and enjoy libations without fear that your kid will never poop again. The highlight of the night was the discovery that leftover french vanilla buttercream is awesome on saltines. Try it now, thank me later.

I left out a giant bowl of candy. I'm sure it was gone within the first twenty minutes. But, I did my part; that's candy karma.

I'd check on my own candy karma if you are one of the teenagers "dressed up" in the football jersey you wore to school the day before, carrying a pillowcase to dump in copious amounts of candy left unattended. You are going to need a root canal if you keep this up. That's the way it works.

Don't say I never warned you.

We ran into some neighbors that night who told us Dan was streaking at about 7 a.m. in the front yard. Well, that's how we throw down for Halloween in the Griffith house.

The only thing heard more on Halloween than "Trick or Treat!" is "WHAT DO YOU SAY?" by the parents of young children. You say thank you. You need to thank them for Mommy so Mommy won't feel guilty when she checks all your chocolate nougat nut-filled candies for razors. Mommy will check all of these candies by biting into them. And she will remain standing while doing so, thus absorbing less calories.

And what if you eat too much candy? Well, Natalie did several laps around the house with Eve on her back. I know where the sugar was going with Nat, but not sure how Eve was burning any of it off.

And Daniel?

Yeah, that boy gets a crazy sugar high.