Monday, September 27, 2010

Children of the Corn Maze

Natalie: Eve, I'm so glad you're better!
Eve: Yeah!
Natalie: Eve, do you know why I'm glad you're not sick anymore?
Eve: Yeah!
Natalie: I was sad when you were sick. I like it that you're not on chemotherapy anymore.
Eve: Yeah!
Natalie: And I like it that Mommy can come do things with me at school again.
Eve: Yeah!
Natalie: And I think you look better with hair.

Nat was excited that I signed up to chaperone her first field trip. In order to volunteer at the school or on field trips, you have to go through a background check and get clearance. This can take 2-3 weeks. I called 2 weeks and 5 days after I registered to check on my status, only to find out I was not on the approved list. I was told there was a glitch in the system and I would need to come back in and reapply. Which takes another 2-3 weeks. Uh-oh, field trip is in 3 days. Well, just come back in and reapply, and you can go on the next one. But it's the only field trip for the kindergarteners this year! And I had a bald kid! And I was eavesdropping on a very swet conversation about how I can finally make up for a lost year! This isn't fair! What to do now?

Luckily, I have a teacher friend who saw my e-whine on Facebook and let me in on a little known secret- I could still attend the field trip as a visitor and only be responsible for my kid. I wouldn't be allowed to chaperone anyone else's child.

Seriously? I am not even calling again to see if I got clearance to volunteer.

Yeah, 100 degree heat in the middle of a corn maze being responsible for multiple kids getting lost in opposite directions? Color me VISITOR.

In the end, I was present, and Nat seemed happy about that. I felt sort of naked without the other two kids' death grips on my legs.

Saturday, we had a victory party for Eve. I kept on giving desserts to other people's children for fun. I think it's some sick joke among parents to feed other kids mass amounts of sugar, almost to the puke point, before sending them home. It's funny, like giving someone else's child a set of drums for their birthday.

It's even better when there is neon buttercream involved.

Eve had about a hundred people come to celebrate the cucking of the fancer. Two of those guests were Franklin and Gwyn. Both are Eve's friends and fellow constituents of Wilmsville.

Hey Gwyn and Eve, how many cupcakes did Evie's mom give you today?

Oh, okay. That explains the flourescent drool.


  1. it's a wilms' hand signal..."live long and prosper"

  2. haha that's awesome.

    Also it seems that grandparents love to give the grandkids obnoxious gifts and then send them back home!