Deciphering the hieroglyphics

I was in California not just to Occupy Los Angeles (or secretly camp out for an end-all, be-all sexed-up high school vampire flick), but to attend Pablove's second childhood cancer symposium. This year's theme was survivorship. I liked being able to go because it meant my kid was a survivor.

Town Crier

I guess our trip was so exciting that it's taken me a whole week to process it all and document it here. I'm going to go with the abridged version here. In fact, I don't think I could even do an unabridged version because the first half of the symposium was like a 747; now that I was on the ground, it was way over my head.

The Jetsons

It's been a while since our last chat. And by chat, I mean I'm basically the world's worst listener, so I appreciate you coming back. I know sometimes you can barely get a word in edgewise.

But in all seriousness, back to me.

Dr. Eyelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Patch

Today I was pleasantly surprised by how well my children behaved at Daniel's eye doctor appointment, especially since it was Eve's naptime. (It seems they saved their impiness (is that a word? (ooh, parentheses inside of parentheses inside of parentheses...crap, what was my original thought?)) all for me at home.) The good news is that the one-eyed wonder is improving at warp speed; just two months after wearing the patch, his weak eye can see two full lines further down on the eye chart. So, we'll trod on through the new year with Captain Feathersword and see if he can hit the next line. I'm thinking the last line should spell something like A A R G H.

The thing about cancer is...

It blows. Seriously. It sucks, like no other.

There are those who will say, "Well, if you're going to get cancer, Wilms is the one to get." That's like saying, "Well, if you have to get a limb amputated, the left arm is the one to lose."

Herding Cats

Have you ever woken up the morning after a large dinner and find that you are still full? Well, I'm still full from Thursday night. I made a birthday dinner for my mom that would have made Paula Deen quiver at the cholesterol content: fried chicken with cream gravy, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, lima beans, fresh peaches, and grilled texas toast. Let's be honest- I was full three bites into the meal. But, as a card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club, it was my duty to finish. Because if you don't eat every single morsel of food on your plate, you don't get dessert. That's the way it's always been and it makes perfect sense. "Natalie, finish ALL of that fried chicken if you want some cake. And don't forget that drop of gravy." Why are we fat in America? No idea. I think the problem lies with organic produce.