April Fools

So, if you had told me today that General Hospital would be airing a storyline about a baby girl who was diagnosed with bilateral Wilms tumor, I would have said, I'M NO APRIL FOOL, FOOL!

But they did, really. For like five whole seconds!

I didn't actually take the time to watch the show, much like they didn't actually take the time to Google the words "Wilms" and "tumor." Which explains why the doctor who comes in to give the diagnosis keeps making Wilms tumor plural (as in Wilms tumors). DROP THE S! DROP THE S, STAT! YOU SOUND LIKE A SOAP OPERA DOCTOR!

I'm thinking we seriously should have gotten a second opinion for Eve in Port Charles. Turns out, if you can just get some new kidneys, you don't need to be treated for the cancer cells that are currently making the beast with two backs inside your body as I type this. Think of all those children who needlessly died when they could have just gotten a transplant. Overnight. (In the real world, there is a period of time you must be cancer-free before receiving a transplant, starting at one year.)

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Christy, it's a SOAP OPERA. It's not real!" Ok, seriously slap yourself across the face now and let's move on.

I know it's a soap opeara. But they clearly missed a very good opportunity to educate viewers about childhood cancer. What other storyline could be as dramatic? Near death experiences! Hair loss! Weight loss! Nausea! Vomiting! Surgeries! Transfusions! Long-term side effects! Secondary cancers! Battles with insurance companies!

There is a character on the same program who has HIV. They would never in a million years do something so silly as to make this character donate at the local blood drive. Thanks, GH, along with Sandra Day O'Connor, for putting it all out there and helping the cause. We need people like you educating the public like we need more Howie Mandel.

But, for the REAL April Fools Day, I didn't have much time to plan anything because I spent the entire day before in bed with a migraine. Well, scratch that. I did jump out of bed once (yes, jump! Yes, OUCHIE when you shake-a-the-brain!). I heard Daniel and Eve together in the girls' room followed by Dan saying, "Stay still, Eve! It won't hurt!" My head throbbing, I ran to the room to find him coming at her with a pair of scissors in an attempt to give Eve a haircut.

That Daniel, he's always giving.

Natalie learned about April 1st at school and told Matt she was going to play some tricks on me. Not to be outdone by a kindergartener, I decided to do my own tricks. I was inspired by a friend on Facebook who posted pictures of her Jell-o drinks and meatloaf "cake" that she frosted in purple mashed potatoes. I can do this. And my kids HATE mashed potatoes. But I'm doing it anyway.

I showed Matt the "Kool-Aid," "cupcakes," and "spaghetti and meatballs" all waiting in the fridge. He turned to the pot of beans on the stove. What's that? Umm, those are green beans, Matt.

The kids liked the "green Kool-Aid" (lime Jell-o) but didn't seem to get it was a prank. Umm, you can't exactly slurp it up, now can you?? They didn't care. They acted like the 5-year-old box of sugar-free lime gelatin I found in the back of the pantry was fine cuisine.

The "cupcakes" (meatloaves with mashed potato icing) were not popular with Daniel. They made him cry. I always say, it's not April Fools until someone cries. Well, I always say it starting tonight as he cried with mashed potatoes leaking out of his mouth.

If you eat all your cupcakes, you can have spaghetti and meatballs!

And this one I did kind of feel bad about, because Eve really loves spaghetti. Like, looooves in a romantic way.

But she ended up loving this version as well. In fact, I came downstairs to find her helping herself to a third serving. I didn't stop her. I mean, the kid had cancer! It was some Texas sheet cake covered in buttercream "noodles", strawberry preserves for the sauce, Forrero Rocher "meatballs" and white chocolate "parmesan".

But Dan wouldn't try it. I've already lost whatever small amount of trust I had gained with him.