Happy Holidays

...or Happy Whatever Doesn't Offend you!

Mom of the Year 2014? Circle Yes or No.

December 1st was a big surprise, mostly because I was under the impression that it was November 30th.  The kids got up early and were downstairs running around.  I heard giddy screams of "It's December 1st!  He's here somewhere!" and "Mart Brent is hiding really, really good!"

flotsam and jetsam

Things have been happening here day and night, night and day.  Day and day and night and day, but mostly day because that's when stuff happens.  Except when you get up in the middle of the night because you really shouldn't have eaten that questionable taco that had been left out for an indeterminate amount of time.

Home Movies

So, I've had such a fantastically fun time reading hundreds of thousands of paragraphs in the whole A Game of Thrones series that I thought you all would enjoy reading hundreds of thousands of paragraphs, too.  I took a break between books 4 & 5 to bring you this ridiculously long post with much less fantasy and many more incomplete sentences that start with And.  And I included lots of movies for those of you who don't want to read the book.  There's enough here for you to take three good bathroom breaks with your smart phone.

Happy Halloween & Thanksgiving & Thanksgiving & Thanksgiving & Thanksgiving

Probably the best thing about switching to Track 3 (please don't ask me to explain year-round schedules today; we have a lot of ground to cover) is that we get Halloween off.  Which means my kids can get dressed up in their costumes from the moment they wake up until the moment they pass out if they so desire.  And the next day, their teachers don't have to put up with their ridiculousness from late-night sugar highs.

Let's get physical!

Though we were in town for the Centennial Cherry Blossom Festival, we didn't venture downtown until it was time for fireworks.  I will never pass up the opportunity to see fireworks, unless they are being set off by rednecks in their driveways.  Rednecks and explosives make me nervous.  Rednecks will light their farts on fire if you hold their beer.

The resolve to try.

So, apparently Santa likes to shop the day after Halloween sales.

A season of miracles

Being that it was Christmastime, and Christmas being the time of miracles, I shouldn't have been so shocked that Daniel and Eve stopped sucking their thumbs overnight. I'm sure if it were done any other time of the year it wouldn't have been as miraculous, unless it were Easter, which is when I heard something big happened once.

These nuts are chock full o'normal.

As I sit and lovingly bang this one out, I am happy to remember today as another day that we are all [as] normal [as can be expected of us]. Two years ago the day after Christmas, I sat in the hospital with Eve on my lap as she got a blood transfusion, too tired to play with any of her presents from the day before. Yesterday, I sat with Eve in my lap to calm her down, because she wanted to lob the presents at her brother's head. And, deep down, isn't that what every parent really wants?

The Christmas Mouse

It's kinda crazy over here. We've done some stuff. We don't have cancer. We now understand why adults used to pay us as children to wrap presents.

We went to Pullen Park the weekend it reopened after being closed for a couple years for renovations. The carousel just turned 100; although I searched, I saw no signs of Willard Scott or a jar of jelly anywhere.

Happy New Year's Eve, Eve! 2010 Edition

This was us last year, New Year's Eve:

Bar Hopping

So, the big question is: did Santa bring Eve purple?

Sure. But he was very uncreative and brought her a purple skirt. So, yeah, sorry for that anti-climax, but he just couldn't figure out what the heck purple was. Doesn't seem to matter too much since her prize present has been the new Pinkalicious dress. Go figure.

The Graduate

Sometimes we get pictures taken so I can look back and pretend we're a normal family. I'm totally digging that no one asks why we gave Eve a Charlie Brown haircut anymore. I'm going to make normal my beetch!

Frst Plas

Eve was a good helper for our Christmas Cookie Swap. There was lots to cook and she rose to the challenge. (Although she did eat half of the pigs in a slanket before the party started.)

The O-Face

9 blocks of cream cheese in the fridge?

Someone's having a Christmas party.

We've got enough cream cheese and bacon to make Paula Deen make her O-face. And why shouldn't we? There was no party last year. There was only ketamine and uncertainty and Clorox wipes.

Candy Karma

Exactly one year ago, Eve was home after her first chemo treatment and very constipated from the vincristine.

Boo, Y'all.

Blood, pie, and a Calcutta Christmas.

It sure has been busy around here. Not sure why I'm so tired since Santa is the one who did all the hard work...

Thursday was a chemo day for Eve. Natalie was off from preschool, so she joined us on our weekly clinic trip. We left the house at 7:00 a.m. for a 45-minute journey of Natalie saying over and over again, "This is a loooooooooong ride. How many minutes until we get there?"

The ride did feel a bit longer than usual, but then again, we were hauling with us Chatty Cathy, the human egg timer. When it's Christmas Eve and there are no more days left to count down, we have discovered that four-year-olds will switch to minutes. These minutes are measured in millions, thousands, hundreds, and any combination of the three. "Is Santa coming in eight thousand-million-hundred minutes?"

It was nice to have Natalie there with Eve. Having big sis around puts a little more pep in Tiny Tim's step. Entering the Children's Health Center was quite fascinating for Natalie- it certainly made it hard to understand that this was a place where you came when you were sick. It was fabulous! Bright colors, beautiful paintings, toys, toys, and more toys, computers, giant fish tanks, and magic elevators that you can see through. "Is this where you come all the time with Eve, Mommy?" Yes, this is where we come when we take Eve to the doctor. "Why do I have to go to preschool? I want to come here!"

One thing about having cancer on Christmas Eve is that Santa will have already left you some presents at the clinic. Two nurses walked in with gifts for Eve to unwrap and even had a little something for Natalie. "I want to come again next week!!!"

Nat was pretty fascinated with the whole port-access process. ("So that's what they do to your bump!") The nurses let her push in the saline flush and the heparin lock. While we waited for the chemo from the pharmacy, Eve and Nat danced around the room while the doctor talked to us about Eve's blood work.

Her ANC had gotten back up into the 700s, but her hemoglobin dropped to 7.2. Not neutropenic anymore, but in need of a transfusion. He felt comfortable enough waiting until Saturday to do it, since she had an amazing amount of energy. (Thanks, Natalie!) We had arrived early in the event that she would need to be transfused, but apparently the whole cross-matching stuff takes a few hours, plus the 2.5 or so hours to give her the blood. This kind of stuff wasn't on Dark Shadows, so it was all new to me.

Eve isn't getting any hoarser and her gait remains unaffected, so she was given the full dose of Vincristine. Natalie was disappointed she wasn't allowed to administer that, but the nurse did let her help flush and lock the port when she was done. Natalie now wants to be a nurse when she grows up...or an apartment. (What do you think an apartment is, Natalie? "I don't know. Let's ask Daddy when he gets back. That's what I want to be when I'm big.")

9 down, 3 to go.

We arrived home to find a bag of presents from a Secret Santa on our front doorstep. Each family member had a gift and I didn't recognize the handwriting on the tags. Mysterious! But, it must be someone I know, because there were some Taco Bell bucks inside! I can't wait to go emotionally eat over there.

The stress of our situation has been getting to me a little, I'll admit. But what really put me over the edge were the Christmas decorations. I put up most of our decorations knowing that Eve would be stuck in the house all season. It all started one [terribly cold] day when I locked myself out of the house. Insert lots of obscenities and exclamation points here. When I finally got back in, I noticed the middle section of our miniature pre-lit Christmas tree had burned out. I profanely wondered aloud why a 3-foot Christmas tree had three sections of lights anyway when I walked into our living room and saw the big pre-lit tree had its middle section burned out, as well. Now the bad words were just spewing out of my mouth. Within the next 24 hours, the star on top of the tree, the lighted garland on our mantle, and the top section of the mini-tree would also burn out.

Could Jack Bauer even save this Christmas??

I got out the last of the cusswords, shoved handfuls of cookies in my mouth, and got to work. Fortunately, I had a fair collection of old strands of lights from the pre-pre-lit era that I unearthed in the garage. Out of these, three whole strands worked. But kudos to me for plugging them in first before putting them on the trees! I won't make that same mistake more than four or five times, no siree.

So, Christmas was allowed to go on as planned.

I have long given up hope of the kids eating anything we eat at dinner, so for Christmas Eve, my mom and I put on our short-order cook hats and whipped up a bizarre asssortment of the kids' favorite foods--peanut butter and jelly snowman sandwiches (Daniel), deviled eggs (Natalie), and boxed macaroni and cheese (Eve). We really went all out! Don't worry, there were some fruits and vegetables thrown in there to counteract all the sugar, sodium, and cholesterol.

The big people feasted on filets before we all squeezed into the minivan to look at Christmas lights. (Perhaps I should have eaten after the squeezing since I was in between Nat and Dan's booster seats.) There were the people who spent a lot of hours hanging lights from their houses. Then there were the people who threw a strand of lights into their Charlie Brown trees and called it a day. It didn't matter to the kids- they loved it all. And that's the best part about kids.

When we returned, we found the elves had left us new Christmas pajamas on our hearth. That's an exciting time of day in my book, because it signals bath time and bed! Daniel set out the cookies for Santa via the "one for him, one for me" method, while Natalie mixed up some chocolate milk to go with it. The reindeer food was sprinkled on the front lawn, and finally, time for bed.

Well, at least for them, it was. By the looks of it, Santa must have stayed up late wrapping all those gifts and eating all those cookies.

It was a fun Christmas morning for all of us as we went downstairs to see what the big guy had left us. Eve was excited to open her gifts just as much as the other kids. Natalie was convinced that Daniel got more presents than she did, only because she opened them up at record speed. By 8:00 a.m., Eve was dressed as Snow White, Natalie was Princess Tiana, and Daniel was flying around the house as Buzz Lightyear. He would remain in this costume most of the day.

Eve was more tired than usual and not interested in eating much of anything besides candy canes. She came downstairs after a nap and watched Christmas Vacation with us for a bit before she went back to bed. The transfusion was starting to look like a great idea.

After Thanksgiving, Matt and I decided we did not want a traditional Christmas dinner. Thankfully my parents are not picky and eat whatever I put in front of them, so I whipped up what looked like an Indian buffet. I'm not sure if anyone in India actually eats what I prepared, but no one questioned the names I made up as I directed them down the line of food. It was as far from a ham dinner as you can get.

An uneventfully eventful day.

We awoke yesterday morning no worse for the wear from the itis. Back to Duke. This time to the Day-Ho. Instead of a big comfy chair, we got to pick out our very own hospital room. Yesterday was the first day that Eve was a bit fussy for the nurse. She replaced the word "yes" with "no" for everything.

Nurse: Hi, Eve!
Eve: No.
Nurse: Did you have a good Christmas?
Eve: No.
Nurse: Did Santa bring you lots of presents?
Eve: No.
Nurse: Can I see your port?
Eve: NO.
Nurse: Please, can I lift up your shirt and see your port?
Eve: NOOO!

Once I got her shirt up, Eve was fine. But her initial general uncooperativeness made it obvious that she wasn't feeling well. I was more than ready for her to get this transfusion in hopes that she would get a little more energy and start to feel better. The child got a lot of cool things from Santa that she will need to protect from the clutches of her siblings, and there was no way she was going to do that in her state.

So, getting a transfusion was pretty easy. The nurse accessed her port and then hooked her up to a bag of blood. It dripped over a couple of hours while we sat on the bed watching tv. It was, at first, a bit gross to me to have a tube of someone else's blood draped across my legs as it filtered into Eve. But that didn't stop me from eating my chicken salad sandwich. Hey, it was lunch time!

Back home for nap time. I put Eve down and then got Nat up for her Christmas present from us- tickets to The Nutcracker. Nat decided she wanted to go out for pepperoni pizza, so we drove to the Mellow Mushroom in downtown Raleigh. "That mushroom is so funny, Mommy! Mushrooms make people act silly." It was nice to go out with just Natalie and not have to divide my attention. Just me and Natalie...and a small army of Littlest Pet Shop figurines.

I was pleasantly surprised to make it through the entire ballet. No bathroom emergencies. No whining about the show being too long. And for once, I wasn't the mom that everyone was turning around to stare at disapprovingly when their kid was acting up. A Christmas miracle!

After the ballet was over, I let Natalie pick what she wanted to get for dessert. "Pie!" So, off we went in search of pie.

Finding pie the day after Christmas is not as easy as one might expect. A surprising number of restaurants were still closed for the holiday. I started at the IHOP on Hillsborough Street. We were seated and brought menus and asked for our drink order. I cut to the chase and said we were only there for dessert. "Well, let me go check to make sure we have ice cream," the young waiter said. Actually, she wants pie. "Oh, we don't have pie." I'm sorry, I guess we'll try somewhere else. "Oh, let me get my manager and ask her if she knows where you can get some!"

So now, I'm in the middle of a busy IHOP, made to wait in front of a large group of people while the management discusses pie with Natalie. I seriously hate being looked at by people. (Imagine our wedding day. Stop staring at me, people! You're going to make me throw up!) Suddenly IHOP turns into Macy's from Miracle on 34th Street and they are sending me to Gimbles to get the pie that they don't have in stock.

We get back into the van and Nat starts singing a song about pie, which sounds very much like Bob Dylan singing Christmas carols. I missed the exit that I needed to take because someone maybe had not enough Christmas spirit (or maybe too much spirits?) and was forced to take the scenic route to Bob Evans. "Mommy, how many more minutes until I get my pie? Why can't I get strawberry pie? Why doesn't anyone grow strawberries in the winter? Why can't you get to the pie faster?"

All was well when we finally got the slice of pie. I ignored the looks from people who were staring at that woman bringing the four-year-old in for a sugar rush at 9:55 p.m. Hey, at least I'm not that parent bringing their toddler into the Walmart for an 11:30 beer run...yet. Don't push me, people. It's been a long couple of days.

Are you there, God? It's me, Daniel.

Does this count as Nat's first love letter? There's definitely a LOT of love in this letter.

I transcribed Daniel's eloquent words. I'm glad he knows the meaning of Christmas has more to do with God than snowmen, but apparently he's under the impression that Santa is one of Jesus's aliases.

Don't fly to Mexico for apricot pits.

You know it's going to be a good day when the oncologist leaves you a message saying she has good news. After reading the radiologist's report from Friday's ultrasound, the largest tumor appears to have shrunk by fifty percent. Eve's going all Chuck Norris on these bad boys!

Eve does not sleep; she waits.
Eve doesn't read books; she stares them down until she gets the information she needs.
When Eve does a push-up, she isn't lifting herself up, she's pushing the Earth down.

The ultrasound was done after just three weeks of chemo. (Her fourth treatment was immediately following the ultrasound.) One doctor was so confident in these drugs that she begged us not to fly to Mexico for apricot pits. Because I guess we looked like the type that was going to reject modern medicine, hop a plane to Tijuana, and hope for the best.

Eve doesn't seem as hoarse as she did over the weekend and she's not having major coughing fits after she drinks. Hopefully she will be ready for her half-dose of Vincristine on Friday. Now the question is, can I get up and get all my Christmas shopping done that morning before we have to leave for the clinic at 8:00? Yeah...I feel an Amazon Christmas coming on.

My morning only got better as I partied hardy with Nat and Dan at preschool. (Or did I party hearty? This is one thing I'll probably never learn the answer to, much like how to pronounce nonpareils.) I arrived at Natalie's Thanksgiving party first and watched her proudly give all of her classmates the squirts. Oh, and the restraint she showed by resisting those chicken nuggets in front of her until they said their blessing! She wisely passed up the carrots, as she needed to save room for mandatory brownies and cookies. "This is a feast!" she declared. Her friend added, "This is the best Thanksgiving feast ever!"

Now I have a back-up menu in case I am too tired to do the turkey thing on Thursday.

Nat gave me permission to leave her party for "four minutes, not five" to visit Daniel's room. He was quietly eating a ham and cheese sandwich. And black olives. And green olives. What? Is this my kid? According to his teachers, he's the best eater in his class. WHAT? He always asks for seconds. WHAT WHAT? DANIEL GRIFFITH?? Can this morning be any more eventful?

Now here comes the part of the post where we do the mandatory "I am thankful for..." stuff. I mean, there's a lot that's going on right now, but it helps show us how lucky we are in so many ways. Here is a short list:

I am thankful for...
...how unaffected Eve's spirit seems to be.
...how well she is responding to treatment.
...how cooperative she is.
...our family, friends, and neighbors, and their love and support.
...Nat and Dan's turkey-hand artwork.

Dan also had a list he dictated to his preschool teacher. He is thankful for the following things, in this order:
1. Firefighters
2. Cookies
3. My blankie
4. Toys
5. Sam, the one with the yellow shirt.

I will be thankful next year if I can edge out the yellow Wiggle in the top five.