Hooters

I thought you might click on that. Pervs.


Memorial Day happened to be Natalie's birthday. Five years ago yesterday, I woke up with a pretty bad backache. The lump in my stomach that we had nicknamed 'Rudy' (you know, unisex like Huxtable or that small football player) wasn't due until July 1st, so I never dreamt I was in labor. I just knew I didn't want to complain too much because I didn't want to wear out any sympathy I would so desire in the delivery room. Long story short, I had an OB appointment that day anyway, apparently couldn't hide my discomfort, was examined, and told "You are having this baby. No, really, you are having this baby right now." Then it really started to hurt. Because it wasn't a backache anymore; it was labor. Eek! Scary! I should never have watched so much Discovery Health that year.

My OB's office is within walking distance to the hospital, so on the walk over there, I phoned Matt at work. Got his voice mail. Left a message telling him I was at the hospital having a baby. Next I called his cell phone. Went to voice mail. Left a message saying I was at the hospital having a baby. He calls back a minute later, and says, "What's up?" I asked if he got my voice mail. He says he did. Well, darling, THAT'S what's up!

I got into the hospital around 12:30. I remember Oprah laughing with some celebrity guest as the credits rolled and the nurses leaving to get the doctor because it was time to push. I'm not sure why Oprah laughing hysterically is so vivid in my memory, but I suspect it had to do with her fabulous hair and me convinced she was laughing at me.

Natalie appeared at 5:15 p.m. 7 lbs. 2 oz. Can you imagine if she had stayed in until July 1st?


Yesterday Natalie appeared a little closer to 8 a.m., which was probably the latest she has ever waited before coming into our room. That was good, because we had stayed up until 3 a.m. watching YouTube. Damn you, YouTube.

We had cinnamon buns and sausage for breakfast. Eve ate about 6 links (sausage doesn't cause cancer, does it??) while Dan simply licked off the icing to his bun and retreated to the couch. Not once all day did Dan ask for a snack, which with Nat coming into our room much later than usual, means that the Apocalypse is indeed coming.

We went to Natalie's favorite restaurant, the Mellow Mushroom, for lunch. Eve threw a salt shaker over the booth and narrowly missed hitting an innocent bystander in the head. Good thing, too, because they couldn't see she was bald. All sins are forgiven if you are bald.


I asked the waitress if they did anything for birthdays. I was thinking a scoop of ice cream or something. She said they could bring out a cinnamon pretzel. This is what she brought out:


After lunch, we went to Marbles Kids Museum. And we entered without sanitizer. It's okay, Eve, here's your bubble.


Arrgh, mateys, I spy some germs!

Thoroughly exhausted, we put on a movie in the van for the kids and drove home. Eve passed out on the drive but Nat and Dan were as determined as ever to stay awake. We pulled into the driveway, and wordlessly agreed to leave the movie on as Matt and I reclined in our chairs and napped. Parents of the year! I can only hope no one tried to visit us and witnessed me snoring/drooling/sleep-singing in the passenger seat of our swagger wagon. And if you did, don't tell me.

When the movie was over, we took the party inside.

After we bathed all the cooties off of the kids, it was time for birthday breakfast-for-dinner. Bacon is always welcome on my plate, no matter the time of day.

And just to add to the delusion that Mommy will do whatever crazy thing you demand politely request of her, I made Natalie the rainbow owl cake she asked for. Because if there's one thing she gets from me, it's indecision. And when you don't know what color owl you really want, you might as well ask for an every color owl. Who might have experimented with ellessdee. Hoo knows, though. You'd have to ask the owl. (I can't complain too much- this cake idea was much better than last year's request of an orange, gray, brown, and black cake with an antlered-animal on it.)



Happy birthday, Natalie! Just please don't wish for anymore rainbow animal cakes.