What's up?

Nothing much here. I've been watching a lot of Netflix.  Like, A LOT.  That's why I haven't been blogging.  It must be showing because someone in my tap class recently asked me if I was pregnant.  And it wasn't a man.  And it wasn't a joke.  And when I told her no, it was just a food baby, she didn't believe me and asked me AGAIN.  So I guess I need to either do jumping jacks while I watch Netflix or eat more fiber so I can deliver my food babies before tap class .  Once, a few years back, I ate a lot of Fiber One bars staying with some family not knowing the effect that more than one would have on my body and I can assure you that you do not want to eat more than one Fiber One bar per twenty-four hours unless you are well-stocked on toilet paper and want to read the same two issues of Consumer Reports in your aunt's bathroom.

The first and second time I did bad things in the woods.

As has been a trend lately, all of this happened several months ago.  I was just too traumatized to post about it immediately following the event.  This is how I remember hiking through a monsoon in the mountains on my period.

GET RICH QUICK

So, with the holidays approaching and all, I figured I'd help y'all out with how to make some easy money:

Take it from your kids.  Take all of it.

The Great Taco Tasting

I'm going to tell you one of the more awesome things I have done since I've graced you with my presence on this earth: I starved myself for a week and then went to Taco Bell.

Dangerous Marine Life

We went to the beach two and a half months ago.  This is what I remember of it.

Kids Eating Sandwiches

We went to the mountains in Virginia over our summer track-out to have a reunion with Matt's extended family before settling down to eat and burn anything that was semi-flammable.  

Girls' Weekend

I see lots of people post about how they are desperate for a girls' weekend out of town.  The thought of going to the beach for a weekend with my girlfriends while we do nothing but refill our beer coozies in between eating copious amounts of nachos makes me go, "Naw, that's for wussies.  Let's go to West Virginia so we can go hike 20.7 miles in the mud and while we're at it, let's see how many animals we can kill with my van.  Now THAT's a girls' weekend.  As long as there are gnats.  Don't forget the gnats."